Bare bones of a friendship
by Bayoboo
Summary: REMADE AS A SELF INSERT! You were always a nerd. You were raised that way. And as a nerd, you daydream about hot skeletons. One day, your fantasies come true... rated T for language and themes.
1. The things people can find

Chapter 1:

You can't contain your excitement. The ten-kilometer egg you recieved in Pokemon GO while on vacation with your grandparents at [f/p] is just 0.5 kilometers away from hatching! So you decided to bike over to your local neighborhood park to wander around and hatch it. The rest of your family had gone to a block party just around the corner, so you finally had some alone time! (you were always a bit of an introvert anyways)

You park your tricycle (adult sized) in the picnic shelter, putting a stick in the wheels so you would notice if anyone tried to steal it. A chilly breeze begins to pick up, so you reach into the oversized basket of your trike and pull out a perfect Sans the Skeleton hoodie that your mom made during halloween and you've grown attached to it ever since. But as you donned the jacket, you hear a branch- not just a stick or a twig, but a BRANCH- break in one of the evergreen trees nearby.

You look at the parking lot and see no cars, and you're pretty sure parents would tag along with children for supervision. And if there was a dog being walked, you would know because you would've pet it already. "Hello?" you call out as you push some branches aside to investigate. You see the broken branch, crushed into a million pieces like it was nothing. If it were intact, it would probably have been difficult to lift.

 _Why is something... almost_ familiar _here..._

A footstep behind you and a voice jogs your memory.

 **"human... don't you know how to greet a new pal? turn around and shake my hand."**

 _No way. This HAS to be a prank. Undertale isn't real. Sans isn't real._

Decisively you turn around... and see a real, live Sans the Skeleton with a whopee cushion in his hand.

 _This has GOTTA be a dream..._

 _But if it is..._

 _Why am I not waking up?_

 **To Be Continued...**

 **Author's note: So yeah, I rewrote the story in a completely different way. I didn't want my fanfictions revolving around me, me, and more of me, _but_ I also wanted to let my thoughts out, so SELF INSERT! EVERYONE WINS! :D**


	2. Representative of the Underground

Chapter 2:

 ** _PHHBTTTTT!_**

You had shaken the skeletons hand and, as expected...

"heh heh! the ol' whoopie cushion in the hand trick! it's always funny!" He says. You can't help but burst out laughing. "glad i got a nice first impression on ya," Sans says, "i'm gonna need it 'round here." After finally getting under control, you decide to ask a couple questions, but you definitely didn't want to alienate him with the concept of Undertale, so you take a safe approach.

"Are... you a monster?" He nods. "Uh, wow, I thought monsters were a myth!" You say, nervously giggling, "U-Um, weren't they... also sealed underground?" He nods again, "yep, but the barrier was recently broken. not wanting the humans to panic and start another war, king asgore wanted me to talk to the humans about peace. my name's sans. sans the skelet-"

A loud, rhythmical barking sound fills the air. It's your ringtone, Dogsong. You quickly pick up the phone. It's your dad. You answer the phone. "Hello?" **"Hey, (Y/N)!"** He says, **"It looks like we're gonna be late home. The whole neighborhood's here! When I get back, I don't want to get home to you playing a game you can't pause or immediately jump off of. Got it?"** "Yeah, I got it. See ya, dad!" You hang up and turn back to Sans.

"It looks like my parents are coming home late from a huge party, so I could probably sneak you into my house" You tell him, "We should wait for a time to appropriately introduce you to them so they don't freak out." Sans nods in agreement.

 **To be continued...**

 **Author's note: Sans has joined your party! Sorry for the wait. I suck.**


	3. Home sweet home

Chapter 3

You rode down the road, with Sans chilling in the large basket of your bike, thinking to yoirself about what you would do once you got home. What would your family do? You had nerd parents (like yourself) and a little sister who was a massive social butterfly. She was sure to be running around the house, flailing her arms around like a maniac, mercilessly telling Sans whatever randomly popped into her mind, and you definitely didn't want him to have to go through that.

Your family wasn't the only problem here. Again, your sister is a social butterfly, and she would probably tell all her friends, who would the, tell everyone they knew. With the current folk sitting in high chairs in the white house, who knows what decisions would be made for the rest of the monsters? Not to mention the greedy fangirls, who would do anything in their power to abduct those they had drooled over for so long, making them extremely uncomfortable in the process or worse.

So you chose to hide him, telling your family the truth when the time was right and introduce Sans to Undertale immediately after (provided your sister doesn't beat you to it.). But there was still another issue to face; sleeping arrangements. You had two couchs in your home, and you had no doubt he could more than tolerate a week of nights on either of them, but someone would find him there for sure. Then you turned your thoughts to your room; it was a mess, but there was a pile of large stuffed animals next to your bed. Sans could hide AND sleep there!

You came home at about the same time you had everything sorted out. Before you went in, you told Sans the plan. He nodded and followed you inside. However, it turns you that you really _hadn't_ thought of everything when you were greeted by a loud barking and claws running across the hardwood floor of your kitchen. The dog immediately notices the bony new guest and bolted towards him to give him a sniff. He held his hands up in surprise. "Don't worry, Sans," You tell him, "(He/She) just wants to say hi. Let her sniff your hands or (He/She)'ll start jumping." He cautiously complied, but when (D/N) took a sniff, (He/She) reacted... strangely. (He/She) took a couple steps back from him, even though (He/She) loved meeting new people.

"guess it's because i'm a monster," Sans said, unbothered. You looked back at the canine, and figured that was a good reason. You brought him up to your room, apologized for the mess, and accepted his forgiveness. You decided to show him some video games until your parents got home, at which point you went downstairs for dinner, saving some for Sans (he declined the meal, so you ate it.). When bedtime arrived, Sans remained hidden under the accumulation of stuffed animals. Rather than sleeping in the near-nude like you usually do, you decided to wear a night gown to bed until you had introduced Sans to your family. When you flopped down in bed, you wished one another a good night, and drifted off to sleep.

 **To be continued...**

 **Author's note: I AM ALIVE!!!!**


End file.
